Embracing Motherhood

By Trishay Yata Burton

Examples of motherhood through friends or family members can never prepare you for what is to come. It literally has to be taken day by day and step by step.

Right when you think you’ve gotten the hang of it, your precious sweet bundle of joy has moved on to the next phase of their little advanced lives, which gives you no choice but to adjust your happy “I just got the hang of this” routine into a “okay I can do this” pep talk once again.

There’s absolutely no such thing called preparation. There’s not one child that does the same thing, and even if a similar way, something is different.

One thing is for sure, the feeling you get the first time you see and hold your sweet baby, the first embrace, the smell, that moment cannot be duplicated on any level from anyone.

Reflective moments have never been so reflective until the moment I realized that I was responsible for a real life, other than my own. “Give me mercy, and grace on this journey as all others,” I asked My Ancestors. I also asked for critical thought and common sense that will not only guide me, but guide my child simultaneously.

The result of this form of embrace, has my daughter teaching me about mannerisms, character, tone and attitude. She also confirms my creativity with confident actions and and she really gets the thick of me.

Before her, I hid my true self from myself, because I knew the responsibility it would take to fulfill. Once I found out I was pregnant, however, I knew, that moment was here to fulfill itself.

 

4 Ways to Embrace Motherhood

•Don’t Be Afraid to Say No•
Often times, when we have babies, we have friends and families with great intentions who want to come over to see the baby, converse with us about our journey and so much more. We have to use our voice to tell them no if the time is not right. Guests can be overwhelming in the beginning especially if you’re tired (and you will be) and the baby isn’t sleeping consistently. Ask your partner/spouse to say no for you or send a group message to your friends and family, they will understand. Until you’re ready for help, get some rest.

•Know That There are Mothers Like You•
Being a mother gets hard, overwhelming and even frustrating. Just know that you are not alone and there are mothers out there that look like, think like, and mother like you. Do some research in your city to find out if there are any groups or meet ups of mothers who you can relate to. Something about hearing other mothers’ stories that sound like your own, brings a sense of relaxation and relief. You are not the only one. For instance, in Tallahassee, FL, there is a group specifically for Black Mothers with plenty resources called ‘Melanin Mothers Meet’.

•Accept Yourself and What Comes With the New You.•
You have a pudge where you never had one. Your body isn’t cooperating with your clothes. You’ve gained more weight than you imagined, it’s OKAY. Continue loving yourself and your baby by taking it one day at a time. When you’ve rested for a good amount of time, then you can concern yourself with how you want to look. For now, focus on Baby.

•What Does Self Love Look Like, Now?•
Going to sleep instead of scrolling your social media, taking a walk while partner, family or friend watch the baby for a short amount of time. It may be timing your shower or herbal bath just right, taking yourself out for a quick errand, making yourself a green smoothie, or even just picking up a book to read without interruption. Communicate how you want your Self Love to look, to your partner, family and friends and never assume they just know. You’ll be disappointed every time if you do!